Misery Business
by XxEviexX
Summary: [Songfic] [AH] [Not for AM lovers] First in my series of songfic, Riot! Holly's reflection on a certain Mud Girl genius. She LOVES to gloat. Holly, that is. To Paramore's song Misery Business. Rated for language.


_**PLEASE READ: Hi everybody! Right, I got extremely inspired by Paramore's song Misery Business. You should seriously hear it. Here is the link: http//www. youtube .com/ watch?vaCyGvGEtOwc**_

_**I put spaces, so just get rid of them to view the video. PLEASE READ THE LYRICS. I know that some of you skip over the lyrics in songs (coughcoughMEcoughINCLUDEDcoughcough), but seriously, you'll see where the inspiration comes from.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl or any related characters, and I definitely don't own Misery Business, which is by Paramore.**_

_**!!READ THIS WARNING!! This is extreme A/H, and I STRONGLY suggest you don't read this if you are an Artemis/Minerva shipper. So if you don't like A/H, or you like A/M, don't say I didn't tell you so!!**_

**"Misery Business"**

_I'm in the business of misery,_

_Let's take it from the top._

_She's got a body like an hourglass that's ticking like a clock._

_It's a matter of time before we all run out,_

_When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth._

He was supposed to be mine long before she got in the way. After all, I'm his best friend. And who is she? A beautiful, shallow girl he met. The day I finally realized that I loved him (it took me a while, I know), I was afraid and confused. After all, he and I have been best friends for a while now. But I soon came to my senses, and decided to tell him. Too bad he was making out with her when I finally coughed up the nerve to confess. Guess what? I didn't. After all, what was the point? He already had her, and I was just some girl that happened to be his friend.

_I waited eight long months,_

_She finally set him free._

_I told him I can't lie he was the only one for me._

_Two weeks and we had caught on fire,_

_She's got it out for me,_

_But I wear the biggest smile._

Their love was supposed to be 'everlasting.' Since when did 'everlasting' mean eight months? Not that I'm complaining… Even so, eight months felt like such a long time. I had lost all hope, and I felt very violent every time I saw them together. Holding hands. Kissing. 'Engaging in intelligent conversation.'

But fate was on my side. One day, they got into a fight. She told him that it was over. And you know what? He didn't even blink an eye. Because he is too smart to be chasing a girl who isn't worth it.

So I saw my chance and grabbed it. I told him that, even though it was silly and irrational, I had finally fallen for him, and that he was the only one. He seemed to have been caught off guard, but not at all surprised. Of course, who can surprise him?

The first two weeks were a bit awkward. After all, we _had_ been totally platonic before this point. But soon, hormones kicked in. His total devotion was to me, and vise versa. He didn't think twice about her. Too bad she still had feelings for him. So now, she's the one who has to see me have everything that she threw away, even though she still wanted it. And she hates me. But guess what? I don't give a shit. 'Cause he's all mine now…

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But, I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now._

_But god does it feel so good,_

_Cause I got him where I want him now._

_And if you could then you know you would._

_Cause god it just feels so..._

_It just feels so good._

You knew I loved him, back when you were still together. And every time you caught me looking at you kissing, you would get this gloating look in your eyes and just kiss him all the more. But, bitch, you forgot about karma. He's mine now. And you know what? I don't _mean _to brag, but I just can't help it. After all, he's _mine_. And that feels _so good._

_Second chances, they don't ever matter, people never change._

_Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change._

_And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged._

_I'm sorry honey, but I'm passing up, now look this way._

_Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you._

_Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,_

_They want and what they like it's easy if you do it right._

_Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!_

He asked for my hand in marriage. And you finally realized that you had lost him. Lost him to me, the girl you always put down, because I'm not as smart as you, or as rich as you, or as pretty as you. But you know what? You lost him because with me, he finally experienced _love, _not a physical relationship, or a battle of IQ.

So you decided you wanted to get closer to me. You asked me for a second chance. But I'm not so naïve. I know you don't want anything more than to get close to him again. Because you haven't changed. You will always be a whore, albeit an intelligent one… I know that we are supposed to reconcile, but guess what? I just don't _want to_. Because I know you're only pretending to be an innocent little girl who wants to say sorry for a petty wrongdoing. But you know what? I've met so many girls like you. Hell, I went to school with them. Are you any different? The answer is no. I refuse to be made a fool of again.

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But, I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now._

_But god does it feel so good,_

_'Cause I got him where I want him right now._

_And if you could then you know you would._

_'Cause god it just feels so..._

_It just feels so good._

I see you looking at my wedding band. It's pretty, isn't it? I see the sparkle in your eye. You wish that you had never broken up with him, don't you? Because if you hadn't, this ring might have been on _your_ finger. But you know what? I'm glad it's not. I feel like waving may hand in your face. Then you'd get to see up close the symbol of what you missed out on. And you know what? I'm glad his mother insisted on keeping you in his life. Now I can brag all I want. But you know, I don't really _mean_ to. But I just _can't_ help it. After all, isn't it ironic that you brought all of this on yourself?

_I watched his wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving you_

_Just watch my wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving._

When we had our first child, I saw the love in his eyes. And then he looked at me, and it held the same thing. Later that night, when it was just me, him, and little Diana, I wish you had been there. Because he admitted that everything in life was perfect, and that he couldn't even _dream_ of more. And that is quite a big statement for him, seeing as he used to be one of the greediest people I ever knew own. He didn't want any more. And guess what? That "more" that he didn't want includes you.

_Whoa, I never meant to brag,_

_But I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now._

_Whoa, it was never my intention to brag_

_To steal it all away from you now._

_But god does it feel so good,_

_Cause I got him where I want him now._

_And if you could then you know you would._

I may seem like I hold a grudge against you, and you couldn't be more incorrect. I actually thank you for giving me everything I have. But that doesn't stop me from hating you. Or from loving to brag.

_Cause god it just feels so..._

_It just feels so good._

_**Muchos thanks to my beta, XxTotallyObsessedxX. Luff you Nikki! Please review and tell me what you think!! Constructive criticism accepted. I don't care if you flame, because I'll just be laughing my head off. But, please, if you're going to flame because it's A/H, please don't waste you're time. I warned you, didn't I?**_


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